Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Put Your Demand In, Take Your Demand Out, Put Your Demand In and You Shake It All About


I heard a radio show yesterday on my way home. I think it was called "The Meeting House". I'm not a regular listener to this show, so I don't know who puts it out or who the host is or anything about it really. But I was listening to it for about 7 minutes and 43 seconds yesterday and I heard their first guest say something really cool.

The topic was technology. I guess they were supposed to be discussing PDA's, and digital cameras, and laptops, and desktop Christmas Card publishing, and all sorts of things that one might discuss when talking about technology and Christmas. Anyway, it was really very uninteresting to me until they got to talking about that GREAT SATAN of American retail - that's right, TARGET. They were talking about how technology has actually allowed us to curb the paganism forced upon all of our unwitting children by the GREAT SATAN. You see, an email petition from true believers of Jesus Christ has caused the LORD OF THE DARK to reverse its decision to use the term Holiday Season (which we all know is just code for - BELIEVE IN SATAN) and replace it with the word CHRISTmas.

The guest on this program then made this statement. "You know, as Christians we have a biblical responsibility to stomp our foot and make demands; and then share the real reason for the season in love." Wow! This guy has been walking with God.

I for one am tremendously relieved that the NEFARIOUS KING OF ALL HATRED has rethought their position. After all, I do love their trendy marketing campaigns and great holiday bargains. Now I can go into any one of their locations with my proud Christian head held high and in love say Merry CHRISTmas to all those around me. It's just good to know that Christians can finally start grabbing people by the collar and saying, "Hey! We aint gonna put up with it anymore! We believe in CHRISTmas and we demand that you say it just that way so that we can continue to live in our undisturbed Christianized society!" Whew! That really felt good. This stomp-your-foot-and-make-demands Christianity thing really let's the steam off.

I think I'm going to start a petition that we change the official name of Christmas to Jesusmas. Surely then everybody would know the real reason for the season.

Merry Christmas everybody!

6 comments:

Jonathan Henson said...

Wow Mr. Chaucer! I Love it!

Diet Coke Mania said...

I've heard that show before. The more I hear Evangelicals talk on the radio, the more I question whether I am one or not.

Allen said...

http://www.worldmag.com/subscriber/displayArticle.cfm?ID=11388

This fits nicely with your post. Rather than demanding, we should be slapping...

"sheet music? i don't need no stinking sheet music" said...

ya know i was in the dirrty dirrty yesterday (birmingham) and i saw a billboard that reminded me of your blog. It was a Buno's sign that said "Merry Swissmas". If Target is the Great Satan of American Retail, then Bruno's is the Beelzebub of Suburban...Food-eries

Jonathan Henson said...

I DEMAND more!!!!!!!!

Diet Coke Mania said...

I'm putting in my demand. I demand a new post on this blog.